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May 13th, 2019 Comments

How to Tell if Someone is a Pathological Liar

Unfortunately, there are mental ailments that force negative qualities on another. These people have what is called “toxic” tendencies. There are many examples of toxic tendencies, pathological lying is one of them.

A pathological liar is a compulsive liar who warps information. They live in a false reality and create different scenarios to improve their self-esteem. Here are common signs of a pathological liar.

They Tell Stories Differently

Pathological liars aren’t easy to catch at first. If you suspect someone is a pathological liar, listen closely to the stories they tell and remember what they say.

Listen when they repeat that same story to someone else. Did their story change?

Consider Each Lie

A pathological liar doesn’t have to lie about everything. Some conversations are true and others are false. They usually falsify some of the less glamorous aspects of their life to give themselves better social status.

For example, a pathological liar won’t lie about their career if they have a good job. But if they want to be in a serious relationship, they may lie about a person they like or exaggerate a relationship with someone they just started seeing.

If you suspect someone is a pathological liar, consider each lie closely. See if these lies coincide with each other, such as lying about wealth, social status, their career, their family life, or their relationships.

They Refuse to Answer Certain Questions

Some pathological liars live in an alternate reality and think their lies are their real lives. Others know they’re lying and are trying to manipulate or make themselves look better.

The latter usually dodge certain questions because they know they can’t provide an honest answer.

How do they refuse to answer the question? They either shrug it off with an, “I don’t know” answer. Or, they get defensive and upset that you asked them that question.

They’re Too Relaxed

The common myth is that lying makes someone more anxious, twitchy, and increases their heart rate. But this doesn’t pertain to pathological liars. They’re unlike normal people who lie. Lying is their nature.

If you feel like yourself, you’re relaxed. Same with pathological liars.

If someone is too relaxed and carefree, be wary. Especially if what they’re saying doesn’t match their calm body language.

But the Eyes Don’t Lie

Do you naturally look someone in the eyes while talking to them? This is a sign of an honest and genuine person. Pathological liars, like many types of toxic people, tend to avoid eye contact.

A classic indicator of a liar is if someone looks to the right or looks upward during a conversation.

This isn’t always the most reliable approach because some people are thinking during a conversation; for example, if they’re telling a story and are trying to remember any details.

There are other ways to identify a liar by their eyes. Liars will blink rapidly and then slowly. They can control their body movements but not their fidgety blinking. Dilated pupils are another sign, which means your brain is on overdrive.

Listen to Their Voice

Are you not noticing anything suspicious about their eyes? You can also catch a liar by listening to their tone of voice. Most people speak with very little change in their voice. Liars tend to change pitches dramatically when they lie.

For some people, changing their tone occurs because of nervousness. Others change their tone to emphasize certain words or make the listener feel a certain emotion.

Keep in mind, not all liars change their tone.

Pick Up On Drastic or Too-Good-To-Be-True Stories

As mentioned previously, pathological liars live in their own reality. They may say things that sound out of the ordinary or put themselves as a person better than who they are.

A common example is gaining celebrity status.

A liar may claim that they’re friends with a celebrity or they make it seem like they have a lot of admirers while not providing a real reason why. See if these fibs seem too unrealistic or if they don’t have proof to back these claims up.

They Have Secret Habits

Some pathological liars make themselves out to be better than what they are, but it doesn’t always relate to their professional or personal lives.

Some may portray themselves as amazing and sincere people when really they’re hiding something.

A good example is asking their friends and family for money toward a good cause, such as a present for their child.

In reality, they use that money toward their drug or alcohol addiction they’re hiding. You can learn more about secret addictions that liars may possess.

Study Them

If you’re ever unsure about someone but “can’t put your finger on it,” then learn about them. Look into their career or stalk them on social media.

While it may not always be a good idea to look too deep into someone, your gut instinct is often a good indicator that you can’t trust someone.

By listening to their lies and reflecting on their real life, you can gauge the severity of their lies and if they’re someone you can really trust.

Ask Others About Them

If you can’t identify any signs of lying but red flags are still going off, turn to people you trust.

Ask them what their opinions are about that person. You’ll be surprised how many people may have your same doubts and if you hear unsettling stories about the liar.

Pathological liars have unstable relationships. Beyond their lying tendencies, they backstab and talk badly about others while making themselves out to be the better person.

Identifying a Pathological Liar Isn’t Always Easy

Is there a pathological liar in your life? The best thing you can do is cut them out of your life and rise above them. Not sure where to start? Begin with your career.

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